Today we lit a candle for a friend who passed away this week.

We had lost touch. That is one of the downsides of our mobile lifestyle. But when I lived in the UK, we were close.

I possibly never knew anyone quite so wise, or quite so perceptive. She was adept at asking probing questions, the kind that enables you to suddenly see what had previously been elusive.

She was also well versed in the art of stopping people taking themselves too seriously (and as one who is way too prone to taking herself too seriously, I definitely need friends with this talent).

As I wrote in my diary, after I'd sought her advice on a life-changing experience: she "chided, reassured, and cajoled in all the right places".

She was also an extraordinarily creative person, not only full of ideas, but full of the patience and persistence needed to realize them.

And alongside all this, she was a ton of fun. In her company, I remember lots of laughter.

She was a convinced and active Christian, but I'm sure she would not mind that we lit our remembrance candle in a busy Chinese temple. She would definitely have liked the cat.





Rest in peace, friend that I lost first through carelessness and then through death. Your candle will burn for just a little while in the temple, but your memory will not fade easily from my heart.