Demons Flay Tigers
by prudence on 09-Aug-2010
No, this is not a post about black arts or animal cruelty.
It's a footy post. Because if you live in Melbourne, then -- at least once a winter -- you need to rug up, and get yourself to a live game. Now this is coming from one who normally detests team sports. Soccer -- tedious, all that running up and down, and it's a nil-nil draw. Rugby -- gross, way too much "contact". Baseball -- weird, far too many men in flannel pyjamas. Cricket -- wake me up to finish the sentence. And so on.
But Australian football, much to my surprise, I find interesting. Basically, Aussie rules is a kind of football that's played on a cricket pitch with a rugby ball. You can tackle, and you can kick, catch, and run with the ball (so long as you bounce it a bit). There are 18 players from each team on the pitch at any one time, plus a supporting cast of referees and water-carriers. Each goal (through the middle two of the four posts) counts for six points, and each ball booted through either set of end posts counts for another one point. So there's lots of action, and lots of scoring.
Nigel discovered early on that living in Melbourne and not barracking for some team or other was not an option, so he picked the Melbourne Demons (our real "local" team -- ie from South Melbourne -- having upped and offed to Sydney a while back, thus automatically ruling themselves out of our affections). The Dees (you abbreviate everything in Australia -- yesterday the Dees were playing the Tiges) have not been too rewarding to follow for the last couple of winters, and ended up right at the bottom of the ladder both times, but this year, they've found a certain different something, and are doing a lot better (fingers crossed).
Our preferred venue is the Melbourne Cricket Ground or "G", and there are three things to remember for a successful outing.
First, dress warmly (like, REALLY warmly -- I fetch out the long johns, thermal vest, thick fleece, and duvet jacket), because if Melbourne does one of its winter afternoon winds, the G can be purgatory.
Second, pack a flask of coffee, and a packet of Anzac biscuits (any biscuits, really, but these have become our staple). You can join the hordes queueing for chips and burgers, if you prefer, but then you risk missing some of the action. Some people really have the in-game refreshments sussed -- we once sat behind a family that had organized an amazingly efficient picnic for half-time, and had three courses eaten, and hands wiped, well in time to get back to their (detailed) score sheets when play resumed.
Third, arrive in time to hear the team songs played, and see the boys come bursting through the paper banners accompanied by their team mascot. The songs are kind of quaint, not only in their faintly cheesy lyrics, but also in their amazingly 1950s British-accent renditions. No Australian that I've ever heard says "to you" with vowels like this... Anyway, here, for your convenience, is the official Melbourne Football Club song:
It's a grand old flag,
It's a high flying flag,
It's the emblem for me and for you.
It's the emblem of the team we love,
The team of the Red and the Blue.
Every heart beats true,
For the Red and the Blue,
And we sing this song to you.
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the Red and the Blue.
Round about 4 pm, the seagulls start to circle -- freeloaders keen to see the final quarter for nothing, and be well placed for the great left-over-chip-and-burger scavenge. Because it's a big pitch, you get flocks of them settling down on the bits that are not hosting the current piece of the action.
Round about quarter to five, you're reaching the end of the afternoon's entertainment. Yesterday, the Melbourne Demons beat the Richmond Tigers 109-80 (yes!), so we had a mass final rendition of "It's a Grand Old Flag", with everyone belting out the words, whether they knew them or not, and the battle-scarred players high-fiving the fans in the front row.
All around Melbourne, newsboards will be running zoological headlines like "Lions Sink Eagles" and "Dogs Edge Crows". But most importantly, "Demons Flay Tigers".
Cool.
It's a footy post. Because if you live in Melbourne, then -- at least once a winter -- you need to rug up, and get yourself to a live game. Now this is coming from one who normally detests team sports. Soccer -- tedious, all that running up and down, and it's a nil-nil draw. Rugby -- gross, way too much "contact". Baseball -- weird, far too many men in flannel pyjamas. Cricket -- wake me up to finish the sentence. And so on.
But Australian football, much to my surprise, I find interesting. Basically, Aussie rules is a kind of football that's played on a cricket pitch with a rugby ball. You can tackle, and you can kick, catch, and run with the ball (so long as you bounce it a bit). There are 18 players from each team on the pitch at any one time, plus a supporting cast of referees and water-carriers. Each goal (through the middle two of the four posts) counts for six points, and each ball booted through either set of end posts counts for another one point. So there's lots of action, and lots of scoring.
Nigel discovered early on that living in Melbourne and not barracking for some team or other was not an option, so he picked the Melbourne Demons (our real "local" team -- ie from South Melbourne -- having upped and offed to Sydney a while back, thus automatically ruling themselves out of our affections). The Dees (you abbreviate everything in Australia -- yesterday the Dees were playing the Tiges) have not been too rewarding to follow for the last couple of winters, and ended up right at the bottom of the ladder both times, but this year, they've found a certain different something, and are doing a lot better (fingers crossed).
Our preferred venue is the Melbourne Cricket Ground or "G", and there are three things to remember for a successful outing.
First, dress warmly (like, REALLY warmly -- I fetch out the long johns, thermal vest, thick fleece, and duvet jacket), because if Melbourne does one of its winter afternoon winds, the G can be purgatory.
Second, pack a flask of coffee, and a packet of Anzac biscuits (any biscuits, really, but these have become our staple). You can join the hordes queueing for chips and burgers, if you prefer, but then you risk missing some of the action. Some people really have the in-game refreshments sussed -- we once sat behind a family that had organized an amazingly efficient picnic for half-time, and had three courses eaten, and hands wiped, well in time to get back to their (detailed) score sheets when play resumed.
Third, arrive in time to hear the team songs played, and see the boys come bursting through the paper banners accompanied by their team mascot. The songs are kind of quaint, not only in their faintly cheesy lyrics, but also in their amazingly 1950s British-accent renditions. No Australian that I've ever heard says "to you" with vowels like this... Anyway, here, for your convenience, is the official Melbourne Football Club song:
It's a grand old flag,
It's a high flying flag,
It's the emblem for me and for you.
It's the emblem of the team we love,
The team of the Red and the Blue.
Every heart beats true,
For the Red and the Blue,
And we sing this song to you.
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the Red and the Blue.
Round about 4 pm, the seagulls start to circle -- freeloaders keen to see the final quarter for nothing, and be well placed for the great left-over-chip-and-burger scavenge. Because it's a big pitch, you get flocks of them settling down on the bits that are not hosting the current piece of the action.
Round about quarter to five, you're reaching the end of the afternoon's entertainment. Yesterday, the Melbourne Demons beat the Richmond Tigers 109-80 (yes!), so we had a mass final rendition of "It's a Grand Old Flag", with everyone belting out the words, whether they knew them or not, and the battle-scarred players high-fiving the fans in the front row.
All around Melbourne, newsboards will be running zoological headlines like "Lions Sink Eagles" and "Dogs Edge Crows". But most importantly, "Demons Flay Tigers".
Cool.