Colmar Tropicale is a "French-themed resort" set in Pahang's bit of the hills that form the backbone of Malaysia.

We've not long returned from spending two days of the long weekend there.

It's not cheap, and there's no getting round the artificiality of its faux-Alsace village.

But it gave us a most enjoyable break, and a very pleasant change from our city routine.

The resort runs a minibus from Berjaya Times Square (admittedly a bit of a faff to book), and the price of the hotel includes entry to various attractions, transport on the boxy little bus that rattles you up to the sights (the closed version reminded us of a prison van), and a copious breakfast, where you can Pig Out on Porridge (chicken), Pancakes (fruit-garnished), and Pudding (bread-and-butter).

The buildings may be fake, but they're undeniably photogenic.









And, best of all, you're in the hills (2,700 feet up), and the forest is all around. There are squirrels and butterflies and cicadas. There are stuffed tigers to scare off the monkeys. There are spectacled leaf monkeys (stuffed tigers notwithstanding).

The views are fuzzy and green. The air is clean and soft. In the morning, the cloud sits in the valleys like bubbles in a bath tub, and the birds sing their little hearts out from the top of the various artificial turrets.



















For the evening, what you really need to do is bring your own bottle of wine. We picked a nice French red, in honour of the venue, and of our many Christmas holidays in France in times past. With a Baguette from the Boulangerie, a Bordeaux is really a very nice thing.

We packed the cribbage set, again for old times' sake. (Our first trip together au continent took us and our old Hillman Imp, Vladimir, to France, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Germany. In those days we caught cheap ferries that went at the dead of night, and it was too expensive to while away the waiting time in a pub or restaurant. So we parked up in front of a lighted florist's window, and spent the evening playing cribbage. After that, cribbage featured in many winter holidays.) I'd obviously forgotten how much I hate losing...

After all that you can do a shiny night-time stroll of the village.





The next day, after resting the breakfast off, we took the mobile box up the hill to the botanical gardens. Up there you're at 3,500 feet, so the views are even finer.

As well as views, the gardens boast stately trees and colourful plants. And there's a free, all-natural monkey show, as more of those zany spectacled leaf monkeys, who are always having bad hair days, crash around in the trees, and run extended whooping contests.









When you've finished walking the paths, you can do Japan for a while. (Which is very appropriate, as -- God willing -- that's where we'll be for this Christmas.)

Start with the bento lunch at Ryo Zan Tei, the airy Japanese restaurant.

Then explore the Japanese garden. The little paths, carefully designed to open up constantly changing views, were flooded with people on this holiday weekend, and we basically shuffled round in a long line. But never mind, the atmosphere was nice.





This was a great weekend. Slow, relaxing, and refreshing.