We are once again breaking up the happy home.

I have research leave next semester, and we don't want to pay rent on a place we're not living in. We'll be back next September, God willing. But when we eventually leave for good, we want to leave with a rucksack apiece.

So... we're back to downsizing.

It's been hard dispersing the book collection. It will be hard leaving behind the Persian carpet, the Rajastani mat, the Iranian camel-bone painting, the Ivorian Baoule woman, and the Vietnamese Buddha with the peeling varnish. They've been with us a long time.

But all that is nothing compared with giving away the toys...

A couple left early. Maurice (the puffin) migrated to Japan to join a friend's penguins. Kevin (the kiwi) attached himself to our Sri Lankan friends in the other tower.

But this week, as the students were collecting toys for a foster home for deprived children, it seemed an opportune time to part with the rest.

And it's been absurdly sad...

They all have their little stories. We acquired Maurice in Brittany (we bought him for a small relative, but he ended up staying with us...) He often accompanied us on our trips back to France, and gained a reputation for over-indulging in tuna and hard liquor.

We won Res in a raffle in New Zealand. We were on a train trip to Kaipara, run by the Railway Enthusiasts' Society (RES). We never win anything in raffles, and when we heard we'd won a rabbit, we were half-afraid it was a live one (or worse, a hunk of meat). But it turned out to be adorably perky Res.



Kevin was a present from me to Nigel, as was Lofty (the bookmark bear). One of Nigel's colleagues, an amazing bear-maker, presented him with Galina (the phoneholder bear), who was one of her own creations.





We acquired Thesis (the tiger) from a temple in Singapore, and I determined I was going to finish my PhD thesis before the Year of the Tiger ended (which I did). We took on George (the dragon) in Alor Star in honour of -- yep -- the Year of the Dragon.



We just fell in love with Oh Soo (the owl) in a shop in the Putra mall. We'd just finished watching one of our K-dramas (figuring a character named Oh Soo), and our owl turned out to be made in Korea.



Perhaps the saddest toy was Theodore (the medium-sized bear). In my mother's final confused years, she acquired him somehow from the nursing home where she lived. When I inherited him, he was a fairly sticky little chap. But to be the recipient of so much breakfast marmalade, he must have been held in high regard. She was Dorothy. He was Theodore. Both mean "beloved of God".

And then there's Cuthbert... I think Cuthbert came from Durham. I might be wrong there. But certainly his provenance was the northeast of England (hence the name).

Cuthbert became my companion 40 years ago, so he's by far our oldest toy. He even predates Nigel (in my life, that is).

When I was growing up, my family sold toys we no longer played with, to boost the funds for new ones at Christmas. I was fine with this idea, and never found it coercive or problematic. But when I arrived at the grand age of -- I think -- 10, I came to the conclusion I was now too big for my favourite pink teddy, and in a big, grown-up (and, it turns out, totally inappropriate) move, decided he could be sold.

Years later, as a student, I made the much more sensible decision that people cannot, and should not have to, live without teddies. So when Cuthbert caught my eye, we left together, and stuck together.

Everyone said what a fine bear he was. "He has a really classic snout," noted one discerning friend.

He also had the air of a wise old bear, the sort of stuffed animal you could turn to when you failed your first driving test or lived on your own miles away from your husband. He was a reliable bear.

But bears and other toys are not that mobile. They take up room in rucksacks. They refuse to self-propel.

So, with huge sadness, the time had come to part.

Cuthbert and the other toys have gone to make children happy. Which is what toys are for.

It's a new dawn; it's a new day; it's a new life...

But we'll treasure the memories. And, because you can't live life without a teddy bear, I'm planning to acquire a small, rucksack-friendly model, to remind me of all the other stuffed creatures who have brightened our lives over the years.