I am the prime member of the PhD support crew for my fellow blogger. Amongst the duties required is the procurement of DVDs; for those evenings when you need to relax in front of a screen that is not the computer screen.

Part of the problem is that there is not that much stuff that we really like on Free To Air TV, and we are not paying for an extended choice of averageness on subscription TV. We have a digital recorder and thus capture a lot of things that are on at the wrong time but there is not that much.

In the good old days, nearly a year ago, we could rent DVDs from the local VideoEZY. But society has moved on even if we have not, so now we buy series that provide value for money. When you go to the supermarket the price labels give you not just the item price but the price per 100g or similar. DVDs should be similarly marked, $ per hour (net viewing i.e. not including copyright notices or end credits without funny bits).

We already own several Danish crime drama and are waiting for Unit One to drop from the current extortionate $47 per season, a French crime drama of over 16 hours, the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Bourne trilogy.

So yesterday I head for the local DVD purveyor with a list consisting of: The Lives of Others (movie); The Lovely Bones (movie); and Ally McBeal, Series One.
And I can not find any of them. After the long phone call to discuss suitable alternatives (Extras would be good, but not at that price, do we really want to watch House again) I head for the check out armed with Six Feet Under, Series One and The Forsyte Saga.

In response to the cashier's generic question I mention that I could not find anything I actually came to buy, she looks them up in the system and apparently they have both The Lovely Bones and Ally McBeal. So we both head to the shelves. Movies L after an exhaustive search draws a blank, so we try the 'T's just in case. Still negative so I suggest we have a look under B for completeness and my helpful assistant says 'Why not' but still nothing.

Next we head for the TV section and similarly go from comedy and drama right through to sport and special interest with not a single Ally sighting.

Baffled we head back to the check-out, I am asked to wait a couple of minutes whilst she extends her investigations out the back of the shop. Eventually she returns empty handed but looking very determined, she apologies for the delay, picks up the microphone and across the store the announcement goes out: "If any member of staff knows where Ally McBeal is, would you report to the checkout, please".

Duly another staff member arrives with an unmarked brown cardboard box full of what we have been looking for. Apparently as the shelves were already full when this stock arrived they got pushed into a corner somewhere rather than do a bit of rearranging.

I wonder if they will ever find The Lovely Bones?